


Lo Siento

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [37]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Apologies, Death, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Strained Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-01 02:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Buried beneath the ruins of Zurich they have the chance for one last conversation, but there is too much that has been said and too much that needs to be said, and not enough time.





	Lo Siento

“…briel…Gabe!”

       Gabriel Reyes had spent many years of his life honing the ability to spring away at the slightest noise or shift in the air around him. It had been an essential skill during the Omnic Crisis, one that had kept him alive more times than he cared to count, and it had proved just as useful during his time with Blackwatch. Right now, though, the last thing he wanted to do was wake up, because there was something hovering on the edge of his awareness, telling him that he wouldn’t like it if he did. Unfortunately, a larger part of him was warning him that something was terribly wrong and that he needed to wake up, as though he didn’t already know that from the familiar voice shouting in his ear, sounding more concerned than he had it for months. It wasn’t enough to make him want to respond, and he mumbled something that he hoped sounded like ‘get lost’, unable to face the thought of dealing with the other man at the moment, and he let his thoughts drift, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep. “GABE!”

    Apparently, his wish wasn’t going to be granted as the voice crackled in his ear again, louder than before, and dimly he realised that it was his communicator that he was hearing and not Jack himself and he forced himself to move, intending to switch it off and ignore Jack. It only took him a moment to realise that movement wasn’t currently possible, and that attempting it was a very bad idea, a sharp cry tearing itself free as pain lanced through his body, and suddenly sleep was the last thing on his mind. _It hurt._ Enduring SEP and the numerous near misses during the Omnic Crisis and even more on recent Blackwatch missions had taught him all about pain, pushing him to his limits and beyond, and yet right now all of that paled in comparison to the agony he was currently experiencing.

    He clawed at the ground beneath, startled to find hard concrete and loose material beneath his fingertips. Where was he? Something stirred in his memory, the earlier awareness that something was wrong surging up once more, this time lending him the strength he needed to open his eyes, although not without a fight.

    When he finally coaxed them open he was greeted with darkness, and for a long, wild moment he thought that maybe he had just imagined opening his eyes and he blinked hard. No, his eyes were open, and now that he was focusing he could see that the darkness was fading a little, helped by a tiny crack of light above him and he frowned, stomach churning unpleasantly as he let his gaze wander as best as he could without moving. Wherever he was, he was surrounded by rubble, laying trapped in a small gap between concrete slabs that had landed against one another and he swallowed thickly, his mind finally starting to catch up with him. He wished that it hadn’t, his breath catching in his throat as he remembered the base rocking beneath his feet and the all too familiar sound of an explosion somewhere beneath him before the world had fallen apart around him. No, not just him. He hadn’t been alone when everything had gone to hell, and his eyes widened as he remembered the communicator and the voice he had heard, realising that it had been silent since he had stirred. _No…_ It took him a couple of attempts to get his own voice to work, pain and panic stealing his words, terrified that he might not get a response, that he might already be too late.

“Ja…ck?” It had been far too long since he’d called the other man by his first name, but there’s no way he can be formal at the moment, not when he has no idea where Jack is. Not when he can remember the terror in the blue eyes and the way that Jack had reached for him a split second before everything had gone dark. _He reached for me._ He had started to think that would never happen again, and now that it had, he was terrified that it might be too late. His voice cracked, and he swallowed, a painful endeavour that left him gasping for a moment before he was able to try again. “Jack? Are…you there?” _Please answer, please let me hear your voice again._ The longing. The sincerity behind that thought stuns him. Things between them had been strained for so long that he had thought that all those feelings, those longings had been lost to the tide of time, or at least buried beneath everything else that had built up between them. However, right now it seemed as though his heart had other ideas.

He needed Jack to be okay.

“Gabe…”

   The reply when it cam was faint, barely audible, unlike the voice that had dragged him towards consciousness a short while before and there’s a sinking feeling in his chest. He hasn’t dared to move again since that first attempt, let alone attempted to take stock of what has happened to him, but he knows that he’s a mess. He can feel the weakness that’s seeping through his body, even as he lies there, and he closes his eyes as he tries not to imagine Jack lying in a similar state, or worse. But he has to know, he needs to know…although he has no idea what he’s going to do if Jack is as badly off as he is. Opening his eyes again is far harder than he’d expected, another bad sign and Gabriel bites his bottom lip, deliberately breaking the skin in an attempt to keep himself awake, before he refocuses on the communicator which has gone silent again. “Jack?” Where are you hurt?” He doesn’t waste his breath asking if Jack is hurt, because already knows the answer to that question, because he’d heard it in the strained whisper and he can feel it in the deep, sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knows, and he hates it. Hates that there is nothing he can do to help, even if Jack does tell him but he needs to know, and he frowns at the continued silence. “Jack?”

“N-Not sure…” Jack’s voice is small, heartbreakingly small and broken in a way that Gabriel has never heard it before, and he instantly hates it. Hates it more than the strong front, the poster boy persona that Jack has been hiding behind for months, because he knows that this real, that Jack is no longer acting and that terrifies him. He wants to say something, to offer comfort, but the words won’t come, and Jack is already continuing, hesitantly, as though worried to admit the extent of his injuries and Gabriel knows that it’s not just because he doesn’t want him to worry. “…feels heavy, and everything…” There’s a nervousness beneath the words, fear, unspoken but still audible in his voice. Fear that Gabriel will judge him, call him a failure again, their argument from earlier replaying through Gabriel’s mind at the reminder, and his breath catches as he remembers all the angry words he had spouted at Jack.

    Angry words. Hurtful words. He had gone looking for a fight, and this time he had aimed to wound, to main and hearing Jack now he knew that he had succeeded. He hated himself in that moment. Gabriel found himself blinking fiercely, forcing his voice to work, suddenly overwhelmed with the need to try and undo some of the damage. “Tell me,” it’s the gentlest tone he can manage as he inadvertently moves in his distress, and only years of practice allow him to stop himself from crying out, biting down on his lips again and this time he tastes copper, but it doesn’t matter as long as Jack answers.

“F-face is a mess…my ey…guess I won’t be the Poster boy anymore…” There’s hurt in Jack’s words again as he echoes another taunt that Gabriel had flung at him, the words haunting Gabriel, although as he lets his gaze drift around the sting lessens slightly because there’s nothing left for Jack to be the Poster boy for. He doesn’t say that aloud though, waiting for Jack to continue, certain that isn’t the extent of the damage and he knows that he stays silent then Jack will talk, he always does. “Not sure what else…I’m a little trapped.”

“Jack?!”

    Silence greets his alarmed demand for more information, but he can hear ragged breathing on the other end an its enough to stop him from falling apart completely, for now at least. Although it doesn’t stop the sinking feeling. He’s not sure how long they’ve been here, or how far beneath the base they are, but apart from Jack’s breathing and the sound of rubble settling around him, he can’t hear anything. It occurs to him that there might not be anyone left to search for survivors, bile rising as faces flash through his mind on the tail of that though. Colleagues, friends…Jack…just how much has been lost under the rubble? It’s almost a relief when Jack speaks again, reminding him that there is at least one other person alive in his mess and it helps, even though they’re not together. Almost, because it takes him an only a moment to register the defeated tone, the fear that can’t quite be hidden as Jack mutters. “It’s nothing.”

   _Nothing, my ass._  Jack had always been a terrible liar, at least when it came to him. He had certainly managed to master it for the press conferences and meetings, handling everything with a smile and an air of calm confidence, even when Gabriel would look at him and see the strain, the doubts and fear that lay just beneath the surface.

“Jack…”

“You?” Jack interrupts him, his voice growing a little stronger now that his attention is focused on something or rather someone other than himself, and Gabriel wants to snarl at him. _Stupid, self-sacrificing idiot._ He had always been the same, always willing to throw himself in front of someone even if he barely knew them, completely unaware of his own value and blind to the fact that there were…are...people that needed him to be okay. People like Gabriel. It’s a convoluted mix of irritation and fear that make him lie, not wanting to imagine how blue eyes would widen in concern if he gave voice to the weakness that is spreading steadily though his body, or he admits to the pain that is threatening to tear him apart even as they speak.

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.” Jack’s voice is a growl in his ear, but it lacks strength, especially compared to how he had screamed not long before, eyes blazing as he challenged Gabriel about yet another mission painting Blackwatch in a bad light and requiring him to step in for damage control. Despite the lack of force behind the growl, Gabriel winces. Jack Morrison was a terrible liar, but Gabriel Reyes was a talented one. At the start he had done it to protect Jack, to protect them both, or at least that was what he had told himself. Yet at some point it had become a way to hurt Jack, to rebel against the promotion that neither of them had, had a choice and, and to deepen the distance that he had always blamed Jack for. _How stupid._

 Maybe it was because everything had come crashing down in pieces around them, or the return of feelings that he had fooled himself into believing were lost for good, but right now all he could see was the mistakes…their mistakes…but more importantly his own mistakes, his anger and jealousy, and there was an apology on the tip of his tongue before Jack cuts him off. “Not…” He can hear Jack gasping for breath, struggling more than he had a moment ago and his eyes narrow at the sound. _‘Trapped’,_ Jack had said, but what did that mean? He wanted to ask, wanted to demand that Jack tell him exactly what was going on, but the other man wasn’t finished, although his voice was rough and fading when he continued. “Not much point in lying now…”

    Gabriel knows that Jack’s right. It’s just the two of them, and with Overwatch and their lives laying in ruins around them, there really isn’t much point in lying anymore. Still, it’s hard to strip away the habit of hiding things from Jack, made harder by the fact that he can still imagined the expression that Jack will make at his words. But it’s more than that, because there is a chill creeping through him, terror clawing at him, because he knows that if he voices it aloud, if he allows himself to focus on the pain he had been pushing aside in favour of focusing on Jack, then reality will come crashing down on him and he’s not sure that he’s ready for that. “Gabe…” It’s a gentle plea, and his heart aches as for a moment he’s transported back to long nights spent curled up in bed suffering through the side-effects of the latest SEP treatment, Jack curled with him, fingers in his hair, voice soft as he pleads with him to bear with it, to hold on just a little longer.

It’s that memory that breaks him.

“I…” He hesitates, still reluctant to admit to how bad he is, as he turns his attention to his own body and risks moving slightly, immediately wishing that he hadn’t when everything whites out for a moment and all he’s left with is pain. When he finally comes back to himself, it’s to find that Jack is whispering to him, snippets of old songs, halting Spanish lyrics from lullabies that Gabriel had used on him when the side-effects of the program had him crying and pleading for it all to stop. There are tears on his cheeks as he listens, wincing as he realises just how rusty Jack’s Spanish had become without him to practice with and hating himself for feeling surprised that Jack had remembered those songs. Of course, he had remembered. It had been Gabriel who had pulled away first, no matter how much he had tried to tell himself otherwise, and Jack had chased him, desperate to hold onto what they’d had. In the end, Jack’s retreat into his job had been nothing more than self-defence, and Gabriel aches at the realisation, cursing himself for not realising that sooner, or rather, for not admitting it sooner. “You remember, Mi Sol…?”

“Of course, I do…” Jack’s voice is unsteady as the song trails off, the use of a nickname that neither of them had used or heard for months clearly shocking him, and in that moment Gabriel hates himself for letting it fade. “Gabe…your injuries?” It’s clear that Jack is struggling to hold himself together at this point, emotions and wounds getting the better of him and Gabriel sighs, realising that he needs something else to focus on.

“I can’t move…” He admits reluctantly. “I can’t feel much either, unless I try to move.” In fact, now that he’s lying completely still once more, he feels slightly numb, the pain more distant before and he has a feeling that its not because he’s been distracted by Jack. And the chill that he had felt earlier seems to have penetrated every inch of his body, settling close to his bones and he hesitates before admitting quietly. “It’s cold.”

     For several minutes neither of them speak, they’re quiet, with just the sound of ragged breathing to reassure one another that they’re still there. That they’re still alive. They’ve been though enough missions together, seen enough death, to know that those are bad signs and to realise that there is very little chance that they’re going to get out of this one. Gabriel wants to laugh at that thought, because after everything they’ve been though, everything they’ve endured, they were going to die in their home. Lies and a distance born of misplaced anger and jealousy finally doing what bullets and Omnics had failed to do, and his eyes were stinging as he opened his mouth, suddenly overcome with the need to apologise before it was too late.

“Gabe.” Jack beats him to it, his voice fainter than before, but determined and Gabriel can’t be irritated at the interruption, humming encouragement even as he bites back his own words. After everything that has happened, everything he has done, the least he can do is hear him out now. “Gabe…” Jack faltered again, coughing wetly, a sound that immediately has Gabriel on edge, although its nothing compared to the way he feels a second later when he catches the soft whimper that Jack can’t quite hold back. His hands curl into fists at his side, and he welcomes the pain, needs it as he tries not to imagine just how much Jack must be hurting for him to make a sound like that. “I’m sorry.” It takes longer than it should for Jack’s words to register, but when they do, they’re greeted with a dull ache in Gabriel’s chest. There had been a time when that was all he had wanted to hear from the other man, a time when he had convinced himself that Jack owed him one for everything that he’d taken from him and what he was asking him to do with Blackwatch, and now…now he wished that he’d never heard that apology.

“Jack…”

“I…I don’t want to die with you h-hating me,” the quiet admission steals his breath for a moment and Gabriel’s not sure what’s worse, the calm acceptance that they’re going to die here, or the way that Jack’s voice had cracked when he had claimed that Gabriel hated him. _Jack…I never hated you._ He had tried, wanting something more to justify the lies, the withdrawal, but whilst he had managed to bury his true feelings for Jack, he realised that he had never once managed to hate the blond. Oh, he had hated Overwatch and the U.N. for coming between them, hated the job of Strike Commander both for not being his and for taking Jack away from him, but in all that, he had never hated Jack. “Gabe? I-I should have made them give the job, maybe then we wouldn’t be here at all.”

“Or maybe we would have got here a lot sooner…” it wasn’t the first thing he wanted to say, but it was the first thing that burst out of him, because even when he was at his angriest he had known that Jack was good at the job. Hell, he had probably been better at it than Gabriel could ever have been. Diplomacy had never been his strong suit and in peacetime it was an essential skill… _it’s so easy to see now that it’s too late,_ he thought, bitterness threatening to well up and overwhelm him, but he pushed it away. He could feel himself beginning to fade more rapidly now, his already limited vision fading, and it was hard to breathe than before, harder to speak, but still he tried, voice strained. “You’re not going to die.” You, not we… he couldn’t bring, himself to lie anymore and he knows that he’s not getting out of this, not when the pain is fading away and his mind is struggling to focus, the darkness crawling closer.

“I should…” Jack whispered, tone anguished, and Gabriel knows that he’s realised that Gabriel is slipping away from him, especially when his voice rises in desperation, the words coming in a rush now as though he’s racing against time. “I’m so sorry Gabe, I should’ve listened. I should’ve seen… you were right, you were a-always right.” In the past, hell, even a few hours ago those words would have been greeted with triumph, or at least satisfaction, but right now Gabriel doesn’t want to hear them. He doesn’t need to, he never did he realises. He wants to say as much, but he knows that right now that isn’t what Jack needs to hear from him.

_I forgive you._

That is what Jack needs to hear and its what Gabriel wants to give him, that and, _I’m sorry too, so sorry…_ and the words are on the tip of his tongue, but his voice refuses to cooperate with him and nor will his body as exhaustion washes over him, dragging him under. He can feel his eyes closing, no longer heeding his efforts to keep them open and he’s vaguely aware of Jack’s voice in his ear, a frantic jumble of noise, the words indistinguishable in his current state. He wonders if he managed to say any of the words he’d been trying to get out, or he had made some kind of noise to alert Jack that something was wrong, his heart twisting as he managed to make out a sob. He still can’t decipher the words and he curses the fact that he can’t reply, hating the thought that he’s going to be leaving Jack alone and desperately he opens his mouth, needing to leave him with something, to give him peace.

   It’s too late though, even the sound of Jack’s voice is slipping away from him now, fading further and further away from him and he has no idea if he managed to do anything. His last though as the darkness finally swallows him, is the apology that he would never get to say now.

_I’m sorry Jack._


End file.
